Quotes from today's baseball game

These quotes are all from the same mother of one of the kids on the baseball team. In most cases they are paraphrased as I wasn't taking notes. Although I probably should have.

I can't believe I have to miss the race for a baseball game.

She is referring to NASCAR. And she had a headphone radio with her so she could listen to the race. I think golf on radio would be more exciting than NASCAR on radio.

Don't make me take you to the bathroom and whip your ass.

Trying to discipline one of her three kids that wasn't playing baseball. The reaction of her kids (they totally ignored her) indicate that either she never follows through on the threat, or they are going to get beat regardless, so it doesn't matter. She then put her headphones back on and walked away.

Don't be swinging at that crap this time at bat.

Hitting advice to her son.

Ryan Newman needs to hit a wall and die.

Reacting to the news that Newman was leading the race. There is nothing a diehard redneck NASCAR fan likes less than a college boy dominating "their" sport. BTW, to the slight extent that I follow NASCAR, Newman is my favorite driver. He ultimately won today's race.

Can't we call the slaughter rule and end this. I can still get home in time for the end of the race.

Showing concern and empathy for her son who was in the midst of losing a baseball game 18-1 in 4 innings. The kids have now been outscored 28-1 in their two games - both ending under the 10 run rule after 4 innings.

Breck says he is having fun playing though. Ultimately, that is all I care about. Although we will be bringing lawn chairs to all future games - so we can sit in a quieter area and not worry about what Delaney might be seeing or hearing around her.

And when we went to dinner at Logan's, there was a group of adults in the waiting room engaged in a full out peanut war (Logan's provides unlimited peanuts). Delaney commented that they shouldn't be throwing food. The 7 year old understands proper behavior in public, every damn adult I ran across today doesn't have a clue.

I'm really ready for that 100 acre ranch. Civilization just isn't civilized enough for me.