The Ungraduation Store
Posted on 05/16/2005 in misc
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
DATE: 16 May, 2005 Fredericksburg, VA
THE UNGRADUATION STORE IS NOT OPEN FOR BUSINESS
Home Educator and long time blogger Chris O'Donnell has announced the non-opening of The Ungraduation Store at his well known website ODonnellWeb. This initiative is the antidote to those attempting to cash in on the latest educational craze, homeschooling. The Ungraduation Store will feature no products, and the website will never actually be created.
Founder Chris O'Donnell explained, "For years, home educators have worked in relative anonymity, quietly raising a generation of articulate, educated, and respectful kids who are doing just fine in the world. Recently though, the press and business world have noticed, and responded with an avalanche of homeschool related stories, and businesses targeting homeschoolers with everything from graduation gifts to curriculum designed by professional gambler William Bennett." Even the public schools are in the act, as expulsion is now being marketed as "an opportunity to homeschool." Chris asked, "What's next, the Homeschool Collection from Hallmark?"
The Ungraduation Store is not targeted to anybody, although we expect that the traditional stereotypes of homeschooling, the conservative Christian and the tree hugging hippie, will be quite excited by our non-offering. Christians will be able to safely ignore us without any pressure from encroaching secular society, and the hippies can feel good knowing that ignoring us does absolutely nothing to harm the environment or support the corporate infrastructure. Chris O'Donnell added,"It's a win-win for everybody."
HSLDA founder Mike Ferris commented that he always happy to see homeschoolers succeed, but due to the near certainty of litigation, he would have decline our application for membership.
Noted home education activist Daryl Cobranchi added "IAATM," which we later decoded into the phrase 'It's Always About The Money."
More information about The Ungraduation Store is not available. There is nobody to contact with questions. No animals were harmed in the writing of this press release. This press release is satire, however if you steal the idea and make money with an Ungraduation Store, we will cry prior art and sue you into oblivion.