Kwajalein Missile Range 84-85 Phone Book

Posted on 09/10/2017 in misc

Kwaj

Cleaning out my home office this weekend uncovered the 1984-1985 telephone directory from Kwajalein Missile Range, which was home from 83-85 (junior/senior years of high school). My parents must have saved it and somehow it ended up in a box of stuff with me.

A few things I noticed while spending 2 hours scanning all 90 pages to PDF.

  • They were really worried about the Russians listening in to our calls. At least 10 pages of the directory are dedicated to OPSEC.
  • I could have sent a telegraph from Kwaj for 13.5 cents per word! I feel like I missed an opportunity there.
  • Nice reference to a Russian spy ship as a scavenger that will keep coming back if we keep feeding him with poor OPSEC
  • My address was PO Box 1129, which I didn't remember. My physical address was Trailer 795 and phone number was 8-2545, both of which I did remember.
  • A DUI was good for a fine of up to $100, and/or up to 30 days in jail. There didn't appear to be a BAC limit - just a judgment call on your ability to safely operate the vehicle.
  • Public intoxication had the same punishment.
  • Rape also carried the exact same punishment limits, because stumbling home drunk and sexual assault are basically the same thing.
  • Wives were specifically excluded from the sexual assault ordinance.
  • Violating curfew was good for $50 and up to 15 days in jail. If I had been jailed every time I broke curfew I would have missed my entire senior year of high school.
  • Smuggling goods to the native Marshallese was a $50 fine. Good thing I never got caught as I wasn't even charging for the service. I thought the rule was unfair and was happy to occasionally shop on behalf of my Marshallese coworkers.
  • Gambling was also up to $100 and 30 days in jail. We had some epic poker games on a back patio (essentially out in open) that involved violating the gambling, underage drinking, and curfew ordinances all at once!
  • Bicycling with a headlight at night was up to a $100 fine. I remember getting nabbed for $10 a few times.
  • In case of a natural disaster kids in grades 4-12 will be instructed to return home on their own. We don't let 4th graders cross the street on a sunny day today, but in the 80s they were own their own if a cyclone or tsunami was bearing down on Kwaj.

Also, bicycles were the primary form of transportation and nobody wore a helmet. Take that safety nannies!

If you would like your very own copy of the 84-85 KMR phone book help yourself.

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